Weekends = Bad Erin

I've been so proud of myself.  For the past couple weeks, I've been doing really good about eating healthy and doing well on portion control.  And while it's still hard for me to actually work out, I've been walking.  A LOT.  But this weekend sucked.  I sucked.  I just kinda fell off the wagon. Like I was tired if trying and I needed a break.

Saturday, I indulged in crap like Poptarts and chips & salsa and pizza for supper. And I didn't walk or work out....at all....whoops.

Yesterday was a little better. While Carter chowed down on s'mores Poptarts for breakfast (my absolute favorite), I choked down fruit and a skinny bagel instead. And I made these awesome Skinny Pepperoni Roll-ups.  I found this recipe on a new blog I've been reading, Mama Laughlin.  You should totally check her out.  She's hilarious.  And inspiring.  http://www.mamalaughlin.com/2012/02/skinny-pepperoni-roll-ups.html 

But then I had a down-fall Sunday.  The weather was soooo nice (finally).  And around our house nice weather = beer drinkin weather (it's a redneck thing.....that, and we'll use pretty much any excuse to drink beer).  Anyway, we all know what happens when you drink beer.  Even if you're NOT drunk, maybe just a little tipsy, you get the munchies.  And all of that hard work and perseverance is thrown out the window.  And you eat.  You eat bad food.  Food that you've deprived yourself from for so long and now you just HAVE to have it!  Actually, I wasn't all THAT bad....I just ate a few chocolate graham cracker cookies and ate too many pepperoni rolls and then had pizza again for supper.  But just once piece!  One positive thing about Sunday though, the kids and I went on two nice long walks.

I had no problem getting back into my weekly routine this morning.  I drank my protein shake on the way to work and then had a piece of fruit when I got to my desk.  And then I started in on the coffee.  But one thing I did notice this morning is that I'm STARVING.  I had finally got my body into a routine and used to less food and then I went and screwed it all up this weekend and now I feel like I could gnaw my arm off because I'm so hungry.  This sucks.  Doesn't help that Aunt Flow....that dirty bitch....decided to show up a few days early.  Probably that Z-pack I took last week, screwing with my "whore pill."  Oh well, at least that ghastly sinus infection is gone!

But I vow to get back on track this week.  And while I'd LIKE to say next weekend will be better, I make no promises.  Next Saturday is my 30th BIRTHDAY.  And I'm really not happy about it.  I'm dreading it.  Which is why I will be getting stupid, sloppy drunk and probably treating myself to some delicious fried food.  I'll pay for it next week.  But I will enjoy it.  Just picture Monica Gellar's 30th birthday on Friends....yep, that'll be me. 

I've already got motivation for this week.  I weighed myself this morning on the scale in our work "gym" nasty ass, sweat stenched, antique weight room.  According to the scale, which may not be entirely accurate as it's older than the hills, I'm down 5 pounds!  I broke the 150 mark, weighing in at 145!  Yay me!  So I went and walked a mile to celebrate.  And then I had an apple.  Double yay me!

Old Habits Die Hard.......real hard

I'm kinda ashamed to say that my work-out regime has pretty much sucked balls lately.  You know that thing I said about not having time?  Well, it turns out that holds quite of bit of truth.  What I need to work on is MAKING TIME.

But even though I haven't been sweating it out with Shaun T. and participating in Rockin Body all that much, I haven't been sitting on my rear.  Since we've finally had some decent weather, the kids and I have been going for a walk everyday.  And while we're not walking, we're outside playing.  (Which is why I haven't had time to work out inside the house.)  I've also been trying to walk on my lunch break everyday.  Except today.  Because it's raining.  I swear, that's not just another excuse. 

I've always considered myself someone who manages time fairly well.  Especially considering how busy I am.  But being a mother has changed my priorities.  Now the most important things are feeding my children, making sure they're bathed, have clean clothes to wear and of course spending quality time with them, whether it be playing outside or playing with toys in their room or wrestling on the floor.  This doesn't leave much "Mommy Time."  I know this is not healthy.  This is probably a big part of why my stress level is sky high.  I MUST MAKE TIME FOR MYSELF.....I MUST MAKE TIME TO WORK OUT.  (This is where Hubby is going to have to step up.)

On a positive note, I have been doing much better on my eating.  I've been eating less and choosing healthier options.  My goal this week is to substitute my breakfast with either a protein shake or protein bar.  I had a shake this morning....wasn't too bad.  And it held me over pretty well.  I did need a mid-morning snack so I opted for some fat free cereal as opposed to the sugary dry cereal I usually eat every morning.  I've been trying to eat more fruit, which is working out pretty well.  But those old habits that die hard?  Yeah, those would include eating candy....late at night.  And NOT drinking copious amounts of water like I should.  I'm not gonna lie.  I. Hate. Water.  Sure, it's nice on a hot day or right after a work-out when I'm dying of thirst.  But to just continuously drink water all day long....I can't do it.  I hate it.  And I've got to change that habit. 

I can tell that my efforts are slowing paying off.  My pants fit a little looser and I do have a little more energy.  But I'm nowhere close to where I want/need to be.  I've got to get my ass in gear.  I've got to get back on the RIGHT TRACK -- thank you Matt Foley.  I'm ready to get rid of this flub!!

*Editor's note - I just looked outside.  It's not raining.  Whoopsies.

I'm Baaaack!

Wow, it's been quite some time since I last blogged. A lot has happened since December 2011. We welcomed Miss Chloe Janette on February 24, 2012 and we just celebrated her 1st birthday. She has added so much joy to our lives in the past year. Mister Carter turned 4 on February 8.  He is so bright and fun loving and HILARIOUS!  He's also very stubborn, strong willed and has a strong dose of mommy-diagnosed OCD. He definitely gives us a run for our money. Chloe's becoming quite strong willed herself and has already started fit throwing....at 13 months. Some days, my life feels like one big bucket of stress with a side of insanity.

I've often heard that exercise can help relief stress. It's also been known to cure a fat ass, which is something I currently own. I seriously think I'm in the worst shape of my life. I'm getting ready to turn 30 in a month and I honestly feel like an 80 year old. I ache all over, my knees hurt too bad to take the stairs at work and I just have this nasty image staring back at me when I look in the mirror.

How did I get here you might ask?  Well, not to blame my kids or anything but, oh who am I kidding, I blame my kids!  Don't get me wrong, I love them more than anything but being preggo kinda wrecked my bod. When I got pregnant with Carter in 2008, I was a healthy 130 pounds and looked fairly decent in a bikini. Granted, I had all the time in the world to work out and I actually somewhat watched what I ate. Then I find out I'm pregnant and boy did I take the whole "eating for two" thing to heart. I gained roughly 70 pounds while pregnant with Carter (partly due to hypertension) but mainly because I ate and I ate and I ate. It took my quite a while to drop this weight and I actually never lost all if it. When I became pregnant with Chloe in 2011, I weighed in at 161 pounds. I immediately decided I was doing things differently this time around. I ate a lot less, made somewhat healthier choices and had a 2 year old to chase around so I got my fair share of "exercise."  I had a much easier pregnancy (minus the migraines), had more energy, no high blood pressure and hypertension this time around.  I only gained 25 pounds.  And I lost all my baby weight within 6 weeks of delivery.

In May of last year, I decided to attempt the C25K running program (couch to 5K).  I loved it and was just getting into my groove when after 3 weeks I had to stop because the running was just too much for my poor 'ole knees. (Someday I'll tell you the story about my knees, but for now I'll just tell you they suck).  So since I couldn't run, I took to walking. This lasted up until we were hit with a hot as hell fire summer last year. It seriously took your breath away to step outside. Plus, I would get a bad case of swamp ass. So there went the walking.

Since then, my working out kinda comes in goes in spurts. I'll be gung-ho for a week or two, then Lazy Susan strikes. I also have three other things that prohibit me from losing weight. #1-Time. I work full time and have 2 kids, you do the math.  Not much time there to work out!  #2-I love to eat. And I love to eat bad things. Chips, Twizzlers, ice cream and high calorie coffee drinks are right up my alley. Oh, and I'm addicted to Diet Coke, so there's that too. And finally #3-I love beer. And no matter what diet I may be on, I will never give up my beer.

I actually have had major success with Weight Watchers a few years ago. I managed to loose nearly 30 pounds before my wedding in 2005. And it was soooo easy. But I had so something to really look forward to, major motivation. I don't have that motivation now, so it makes loosing weight incredibly hard.

I'm having a hard time with my approach to the Dirty 30 and I think in part it's because I don't want to "look old."  (It's bad enough I'm already getting gray hairs.).  I think loosing weight and having the mirror reflect a younger looking body a.k.a. skinnier body will definitely help me feel better about myself. I already battle a mean case of self esteem so I've got to make some changes.

Today I started a new exercise regime that I purchased online last week. Rockin Body.  From what I've gathered, it's pretty much all dancing and supposedly "easy."  So far (after the first 15 minute workout), I give it 2 thumbs up!  It was fun!  I also threw in a few floor exercises to work my legs, butt and abs.

I know this isn't going to be easy, mainly because I'm going to have a hard time changing my eating habits (hence the pizza box in the above picture). And because I have no self discipline to speak of.  But one thing at a time. Baby steps, as Dr. Leo Marvin would say.

Here's the beginning of my journey, weighing in roughly at 150 lbs (haven't weighed myself in a couple weeks).